Yes, it has been a several months since I posted once again. I made a commitment to post on my blog, so today I am writing about this very issue. We all get busy and in today’s world there is no shortage of pressure in most people’s lives. Time and time again I see how people have a diminished respect for commitments. While we must leave room for some humanness to occur, the outright lack of caring or disrespect that has become more and more common place is wrong.
What about children? Their emotional development is influenced by how their parents interact with them. The child who’s parent (Mother or Father) does not honor commitments regularly. An example might be the divorced father who misses visits is MIA for months at a time, even years. Promises made and broken more than kept. This type of disregard for children is painful. Kids need to be important and promises need to be honored. We need to model behavior that we would like to see from our children as they grow into adults. So that when they promise to mow the lawn or other chores, they follow through. Integrity is such an important word, yet we see so many areas in society were this is deteriorating. I believe strongly that parents have a commitment to their children even when the adult relationship does not work out. How this is handled is a powerful message to kids about being loved and important. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs reminds us that after food clothing and shelter. The most important piece of the human psychological foundation is: Love & Affiliation.
This does not mean the hot new sneakers or other pop item in vogue. It means time, connection and mentoring children. This is the very anchor that sees children thru the good times and the bad. This love and affiliation is what makes them want to show you their achievements. So you can be proud. It allows them the security of knowing that when something goes wrong, they can seek comfort and reassurance that they will get through tough times. Commitment to our children is so very important.
As with all good things we must be careful not spoil children, this is the mentoring part and it is work to say no when it is needed. We must give directives that teach responsibility and model the behavior of consistency that we hope they will embrace. So that they can function well as they move into young adulthood.
As always I welcome you to join the conversation because none of us is as smart as all of us.